I'm unclean,a libertine

Timing...saturdays are running wild through my hair...Stop making it all yours,because it's not! You create as you have been created,maybe with that awful taste of metal in your mouth...Why did you drop it? Where were you? It was the only thing that kept you floating.Now you'll have to settle with the void left behind,with the painful emptiness that you chose to fall asleep with.I'm not trying to argue with your inner self,i just want to make sure your life isn't the rabbit's web i just fell in earlier. Stop staring at me,it will just hurt your eyes...It will just make you see how the world can scar all these souls,with the flesh they're trapped in,with the mouth they were given to scream.You're going to be so fucking cold,as the sins you've always preserved will pierce your hands,leaving you laughing your lungs out.They always told you to chase the foggy clouds...you...never listened. Now the clouds rule your dreams,making your nights boring,lonely and unnoticed...But you're proud.You're so proud your dreams were worth it...Now don't get me wrong.I still think you're average...for me...you'll never be more than a leaf.Impress me! Fight me! Kill me! The black silk,just sliding through your fingers...don't drop it again...it will crawl starting with your toes and reaching your teeth,your ears.Just wake up already,it won't hurt...too bad. Oh...and...shhhh...it's gonna shut up someday...you...can't control it right now...it's still inside you...you can't control yourself,you know that. Stop laughing! Stop it! Don't your cheeks hurt? Isn't your tongue tired? The spotlight will just burn your skin...and you're gonna be so ugly.You stopped smiling now,huh? It's almost morning...just close your eyes and run...Run! If you were stupid enough to get here,keep going...This is what you hate the most.This is what you fear,what makes your stomach tremble and your knees shake.You pulled the thread out of your neck so there's no way back now...Do it! Come on...you already bought the blade...The pain will be worse if you don't.The disappointment will bring you nightmares,the hoplessness will eat you from the inside,your only choice being...agony. Now you have to lie.From now on,you'll have to lie to yourself,to the world,to the snakes. My god,you hate snakes! You hate their cold skin when it touches your face,you hate their thin tongue in your eyes,they make you vomit when they crawl on your lips.It's the horror you've created.It's the place you'll never escape from.You're trapped in..YOU...Yeah,keep laughing and staring at your carved face in the mirror.You made the lights go off and the mirror start pouring. Just hug your knees and wait,darling...You have no place to go.Wait until the sun comes out,maybe somewhere there's a crack...and you'll see it.Why are your hands wrinkled? It's what YOU did to yourself...or what they've done to you.You can always blame them...they made you what you are.Because they have a plan for you,because they want you devoured...You're gonna love that! Finally,you're screaming again,finally ,you see that this is all you can ever be. You know you'll always get eaten alive,painful and slow...it's the only thing you can't fight,can't control,but obliged to fear. Never trust yourself,you never mean good.The claws in the attic are making that horrible noise...again...You're not allowed to talk about it,you're not allowed to see it,you're not allowed to touch it...You never noticed that all the doors get sealed when your whispering soul tries to exit or get in? But if it can not exit,nor get it,where is it trapped?